Memoirs of a Mommy

After Today, This Made Me Laugh

2009-01-29T16:31:00.001-08:00

After the day I had this made me laugh out loud!

GOD CREATED CHILDREN(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN) To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students... here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was ' DON'T!
''Don 't what?' Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit' God said
'Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!'' No Way!'
'Yes way!' 'Do NOT eat the fruit !' said God.
'Why ? ''Because I am your Father and I said so!' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants A few minutes later,God saw His children having an apple breakand He was ticked!
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?' God asked.
'Uh huh,' Adam replied.
'Then why did you?' said the Father.
'I don't know,' said Eve.
'She started it!' Adam said.
'Did not!''Did too!''DID NOT!'
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

I'm toatally jokeing, I don't believe that children are a punishment from God, rather they are a reward. BUT this made me laugh after the day I had.

Yeah thats right I'm throwing a pitty party

2009-01-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I DO NOT like having this little inner ear disease called Miners. In fact I HATE it. Today is probably one of the worst times that I have had it without the dizziness. My ears are ringing so loud I am deaf, I literally can not hear anything except this incredibly loud ring. I can't sleep, its irritating, I'm in a bad mood, and I didn't feel good before this started. I have been watching what I eat, I have been taking my medicine like I'm supposed to and still this? And to top it all off the one doctor who I finally got to take me seriously just changed clinics so in order to see her tomorrow I'm going to have to jump through 80 billion hoops, OR spend hours answering the EXACT same stupid questions, and going through the exact same STUPID tests that test for everything that I don't have, just for them to refer me to someone else and honestly I have two kids I don't have time for this crap. Yes, I'm not dealing with this like I should be, yes I'm angry about it, yes I have a bad attitude that is going to do nothing for me except hinder me. But I would honestly like to see someone deal with this and have a good attitude about it. So what am I going to do? Well I'm going to wine on this blog that's what I'm going to do. Then I'm going to get over it, then I'm going to force myself to be in a good mood, with no sleep, with no one who even has the slights idea what I'm talking about. Anyone who has a chronic illness will know what I'm talking about. The fact is that its never going to get completely better. I've tried to cut back on salt, I've tried to drink more water, I've tried taking all the vitamins and everything else, and it is just getting worse. Okay I'm done now, I'm done wining and complaining. I'm going to go lay in my bed by myself now and listen to the ringing until I go completely insane.

Before I Was A Mom

2009-01-27T10:34:00.001-08:00

Before I was a Mom when I was sick I stayed home and slept
Before I was a Mom when I wanted to go somewhere I just got up and went
Before I was a Mom I never carried Cheerios in my purse
Before I was a Mom I never considered myself much of a nurse
Before I was a Mom I never said "Just Because"
Before I was a Mom I didn't seem to have as many flaws
Before I was a Mom I never made up a song about a potty
Before I was a Mom I I sure had a better body
Before I was a Mom I knew exactly how I would be
Before I was a Mom I thought "That will never happen to me."
Before I was a Mom I was convinced my children would behave in the store
Before I was a Mom I was sure I would always have a clean floor
Before I was a Mom I rolled my eyes at screaming kids
Before I was a Mom I never owned a million cups with lids
Before I was a Mom I was sure my kids would behave
Before I was a Mom I never thought I would forget to shave
Before I was a Mom I never knew how much fear I could feel
Before I was a Mom I always had a hot meal
Before I was a Mom I didn't know what selfless meant
Before I was a Mom I didn't watch every cent
Before I was a Mom I never sat in a waiting room crying ~~~~~~~>
Before I was a Mom I never knew how much on others I would be relying
Before I was a Mom I never said "Get your finger out of there!"
Before I was a Mom I spent much less time on my knees in prayer ~~~~>
Before I was a Mom I'm not sure I knew how to love
Before I was a Mom I didn't have my sights on things above
Before I was a Mom I didn't have a clue
I how much I could love a little person like you.

Pizza Prank....SO SO SO Funny!!!

2009-01-22T13:51:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOxtr7L8KGs

Oh the snot, how I hate the snot!

2009-01-22T07:47:00.001-08:00

She's chunky, She's funky, She's a snot monkey!

Nora can not breath except for out of her mouth, this would not be a problem except for the fact that she can not sleep without her thumb in her mouth. Do you see the problem? So either she doesn't breath, which obviously poses a serious problem for her, or she doesn't sleep which poses a serious problem for me....guess what she choose. So our night went a little like this:

10:00pm Chelsey goes to bed
10:30 Nora wakes up
10:50 After 20 minuets
of listening to her cry Chelsey gets up
11:30 Nora goes back to sleep
12:25 Leah wakes up, just because she doesn't want to be the only one in the
house to get a good nights sleep, so she screams until I came to her bed only to
go right back to sleep.
3:00 Nora is up again!!
3:42 After 42 minuets of
listening to her scream Chelsey gets up
4:30 Nora goes back to bed, only to
scream until 5:30 the whole time I am awake listening to her.
5:00 Sean's
alarm clock goes off full blast!
5:10 The alarm goes off again, at this time
I scream at him to get up and turn it off...what a way to start the day.
At
7:00 The phone rings
After talking on the phone I get out of bed at 7:15
7:30 Hooray for breakfast time, both kids are up as though they slept with
out a problem, bright eyed and snot nosed anxiously awaiting a new day.
9:00
I put Nora down for her morning nap
10:00 She is still screaming up in her
bed.

Now I don't know this for sure, but I feel that I just might completely lose my mind today, we'll have to wait and see.

In other news: We have about 5,648 billion toys in this house, but when we have friends over there is one toy, the toy of all toys. A beautiful plastic red train that cost $17.99 at Walmart. This toy is the cause, beginning and end of every fight in this house. I am about two seconds from taking it to Good Will to bless/curse some other family with this magnificent train.

Just another day in the life.

The Nap

2009-01-15T11:36:00.001-08:00

It is 1:30 in the afternoon and all through the house not a creature is stiring not even a mouse.
The dishes are piled up high in the sink with hopes that the water will soon unfreeze
My children are nessled all snug in their beds while visions of playgrounds dance through their heads.
With Sean off at work, and me on the blog the house was so quiet except for that darn dog
When from my room their arose such a clatter I ran from the computer to see what was the matter
Away from my blog I flew like lightening riped open my door and what I saw was frightening
What to my wondering eyes did appear, why everything I owned on the floor all smeared
My jewlery, my clothes, my shoes glaore
Sean's books, my sheets, my perfume and MORE
She'd taken the liberty of getting my stuff
I thought she was asleep but she got UP
And oh what a time, what a wonderful time she did have
Tearing my room apart without remorse
Throwing my life completly off course
The lamp had a monkey growing out of his head
There was lotion and perfume poured all over our bed
Her sweet little face all covered in lipstick
I was so mad I almost got real sick
I turned around closed the door behind me
A little voice said "Mommy are you mad at me?"
Mad? No my dear, mad isn't the word.
I've never seen anything quite so absurd.
A spanking she got and then back to bed
Now a prayer that no more destruction thoughts get in her head ;-)

Testing testing one two...three?

2009-01-15T09:43:00.001-08:00

Oh baby. This is the first post.......and a test. Woo hoo!